This is something that has been bothering me for a long, long time. I mean, maybe it's my fault, but I hate how people “see” me. I was always shy in school, so I didn't talk a whole lot. Instead of people thinking, “Hmm...maybe she is shy” people liked to think that I was stuck up instead. My issue as an adult, is people thinking that I'm like a nun or something. Far from it – I'm not even Christian. I think of myself as Agnostic – which is not believing that there is a God, or isn't. I'm not going to believe, or not believe, in something because a book tells me to. Maybe I'm stubborn that way. I like to think I'm open minded. I'm not even going to go into the reasons I feel this way, I'm sure that just saying what I have will cause people to judge me. That's the issue I guess. I don't like people assuming things about me. I know it's sometimes hard not to judge people, but c'mon... I'm quiet. That doesn't mean anything except the fact that I'm quiet. Guess what? I have sex. “Ohmygod” you're thinking, right? Because it's not like I've had kids or anything. I don't party. Why? Because I'm not a people person. I don't drink alcohol. Not because I think it's taboo, but because I really think alcohol tastes like shit. Oh, that's another thing. I cuss. Not a lot – usually when I hurt myself or when I just remember something that I had forgotten to do. I just think it's stupid when I hear people cussing because they think it sounds cool. Hmm...what else? You'd probably be surprised at the things I'd do if I knew I wouldn't get caught. I'm not the forgive and forgetting type. There's plenty of revenge I'd like to dish out. But because staying in a jail cell isn't my idea of fun, I think I will refrain from slashing some tires and writing certain phrases in people's yards with grass killer.
1 comment:
When I have seen you in the past I always forget about your anxiety problem with it comes to people (I guess that's what you call it). I always feel bad afterwards because I have come up to talk to you, picked Mikayla up without asking, etc. LOL. It's funny how we think stuff like that about ourselves. I worry about what you think of me for doing that kind of stuff and you worry about what people think of you because of your shyness/anxiety. LOL
I've been doing a lot of thinking and I don't think I believe in God either. That's hard to admit to when you live in the Midwest, especially a small town like Maysville. I haven't told many people that. When you write something on facebook like, "My dad is ill and in the hospital" people always say, "He's in my prayers" or "God will help your father", etc. I know it sounds bad, but I kinda hate that. How many of these people REALLY would pray for my dad? People say it, but do they REALLY do it? I don't know, but that's my problem with people saying that. It's always the people who go to church and the Christians who are the first to judge, first to do bad things every other day of the week except Sunday. Maybe it's because I used to hold these people up on a pedestal. Maybe I should never have done that. And I just get tired of being shit on by "God". I feel like I've been a good girl most of my life and I keep getting shit on. Why is there death? Why do people who have done nothing wrong get illnesses that can't be cured? I guess that's my big problem with believing in God nowadays.
I don't really think you're a prude. I will admit that if you started dropping the F bomb on fb I'd probably message you to find out what was wrong with you though! LOL
We're so much more alike than I ever dreamed! LOL
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