Feeling frustrated

I've kind of had a crappy past 24 hours (well, make that 22 hours). Ya'll know how scared of bugs I am, right? Well, our house has had a roach problem ever since we've moved in. Every time we think we've gotten rid of them, they come back. It had been a little while since I'd seen one, so I knew it was only a matter of time. I mean it HAS been a month and a half since we've used bug foggers in the house. Wouldn't want to keep them away for a whole 2 months. Anyway, last night (after John went to work of course), Mikayla noticed a roach crawling on the ceiling of the dining room. We have these wooden beams on the ceiling that the roaches seem to like. The roach would crawl from one beam to the other, then hide, then come back out. It's possible that it wasn't the same roach, who knows. So, I was sitting at my computer with a can of bug spray watching it like a hawk. It fell from the ceiling and started crawling across the floor, so I drowned it with bug spray. Of course, I couldn't pick it up, and the kids wouldn't even go into the dining room at all with a dead bug on the floor. I was still feeling freaked out, when a few minutes later a roach fell from the ceiling in the kitchen. I think it came from the light fixture but I'm not sure. I drowned that one too but it landed on it's back so it didn't try running from me at 60 mph like the other one did. I was majorly freaking and just knew it was going to start raining roaches. I packed a suitcase for me and the kids and went to the super 8. By this time, it was probably midnight. It took awhile for the kids to wind down, and I had to take a shower cuz I felt gross so it was pretty late when we all got to sleep. This morning we had to get up early, get checked out and get to Dakota's dr. appt. John ended up having a mandatory meeting at work so he got to town late and wasn't able to go with me. We were at the dr. for an hour. She wants me to fill out some long questionnaire on Asperger's to see if that's what Dakota has. I'm supposed to drop it off soon and she'll look it over and give me a call. So anyway, after that we met John at the house. He bought some roach spray and bug foggers. He sprayed the beams and set off the foggers, then we went to my parent's house for the day. Him and the kids slept most of the time and I tried filling out that paperwork. Dakota started crying when we left my parent's house - I think maybe he was afraid to come home. Anyway, now we're back home and it's starting to get dark out so I'm freaking out a little. If I had it my way we would have moved out of the house today.... I was unpacking the suitcase and a bottle of chocolate syrup that I had in there burst open and got on a lot of stuff so I had to clean all that up. I'm sure you're wondering why I had chocolate syrup in my suitcase... I took milk and chocolate syrup to the hotel last night so the kids would have something to drink. This morning, the milk was gone but the syrup wasn't so I just put it in the suitcase. Well, I guess it wasn't a good idea to leave the suitcase in the van all day with it being so hot out. I've learned my lesson on that. So anyway, I've had a long stressful several hours and I'm feeling like I'm gonna have a breakdown or something. You shouldn't have to be scared to sleep in your own home. And maybe these pesticide fumes are getting to me...

A couple of nights ago, our house just suddenly started smelling like skunk. Like, it was so strong my nose was almost burning. I went to bed still smelling it. When John got home the next morning, he said that he didn't smell anything outside - but when he came in the house he could smell it. So, he thinks that a skunk sprayed our air conditioning unit or something. Why do I feel like I'm being punished???