I was looking back on some of my very
first blog posts. I can't believe I started this blog in 2008. There
was a post where I decided that 2 kids were enough because Mikayla
was always getting into things. One day she was licking a plunger and
another day we were over at someone's house and I found her with
their razor in her mouth. I seriously don't even remember this stuff.
I'm getting old and senile. Anyway, to be honest – I feel my
biological clock ticking. I know that if I don't have another kid
soon, then I'm done. Some days when I look at my little nieces and
nephews, I think “Awww...it would be kind of nice to have another
one”. Other times I'm like, “I'm sooo glad my kids are older and
I don't have to worry about that” lol... And when Mikayla cuddles
with me, I think of how much I'm going to miss it. Dakota doesn't
cuddle any more and it's so sad. I've got to be honest with myself
though, and I really don't think it's a good idea for me to have any
more kids. I feel like my health is crappy and I would have to go off
all my meds. I also have a feeling that I would have a bad pregnancy
and I'm scared of the placenta thing happening again. But most of
all, I just can't be a good parent right now. I wouldn't be able to
stay awake to take care of my child. And to think of getting up every
2-3 hours in the night makes me shudder. I don't have the energy or
patience anymore. Nope...can't do it. Before I know it I will have
grandkids to spoil. Though, that thought makes me shudder too. Being
a grandma? Ugh... No offense to grandmas out there or anything... I'm
just a little touchy about feeling old.
I bought one of those Autism awareness
car magnets for the Explorer – for a few reasons actually. One is
for autism awareness. 1 in every 54 boys have autism and it seems
like those numbers keep rising. If you don't have a child with it,
then your child will very likely go to school with someone that has
it. I know there is at least 1 other kid in Dakota's grade with it.
If everyone talked to their kids about not making fun of others who
act differently, it would make a world of difference. Kids with
autism are easy targets for kids to pick on, Dakota included. Anyway,
the next reason for the magnet is so that our neighbors are aware.
Living in an apartment, I'm sure they sometimes hear Dakota's
meltdowns. I don't want anyone to think we are beating him or
something. The meltdowns are just something that go along with autism
– you can't reason with them, or calm them down. You just have to
wait it out. Dakota's meltdowns are loud and dramatic. The next
reason, is because of the drop off lane in front of the school in the
mornings. Other parents seem to be pretty impatient if your kid
doesn't get out of the vehicle quickly. Seriously, I can't just tell
the kids to get out and have them actually get out. I say that, and
Dakota just stares at me. I have to tell him to unbuckle his seat
belt, and I might have to tell him more than once. Then he will just
stare at me. Then I'll tell him to open his door, so he does and then
he will stare at me. Then I tell him to get out and he will stand
there and stare at me. Then I have to tell him to shut the door and
walk up to the school. Sometimes even after he finally gets out and
shuts the door, he stands by the Explorer and stares at it. It's like
he's in this daze. We go through the same thing every morning. It
drives me crazy but all I can do is laugh. Luckily, he has his sister
that will just start walking up to the school, and he feels a sense
of responsibility to walk with her and to see that she gets to her
classroom. That helps him snap out of it.
Dakota is still having issues with a
boy named AJ in his class. The other day, he told us that he wanted
to die so that AJ wouldn't bully him anymore. I'd already talked to
the teacher and the principal about this issue, and I know they
talked with this kid but apparently it didn't do any good. John
talked with the assistant principal – who is a man. We thought that
maybe a man would be a little more intimidating. He talked to Dakota
and AJ yesterday, together and separately. Of course, the assistant
principal thinks that Dakota is just
taking things the wrong way. This other boy just says that he's
telling jokes. I know that Dakota does take things the wrong way, but
AJ tells him that he is stupid, pushes him against the fence at
recess, and even Dakota's cousin has told me that this kid is mean to
Dakota. And I know Dakota wouldn't want to die over taking jokes the
wrong way. He's been very inquisitive about death lately. He asked if
there were toys in heaven to play with, and he asked if people sleep
in their coffins there.
My MRI went ok. I was freaking out about the IV the most, but they didn't use one. Instead they just injected something straight into my vein with a needle, so that was so much better. The worst part was having to lay completely still for an hour and a half. They did both MRI's back to back so it took forever. One was of my brain and the other the top of my spine. I tried counting to 60 over and over so I could try to tell how much time was passing but I lost count... It was so boring. I will probably call the neurologist tomorrow and see if they will give me the results over the phone. My next appointment with him isn't for a long time so I hope they don't make me wait that long. A doctor here in town told a friend of mine that Maryville's MRI machine doesn't pick up things very well...
Last night, our cat Max was sleeping
and looked so cute so I went to pet him. Usually when you try to pet
him, he tries nipping your hand and wants to play. Anyway, as soon as
I put my hand toward him, he rolled over for me to pet his tummy
(which he never does). I started petting him and noticed that he was
getting a boner! I quickly took my hand away and he started humping
the air. Omg, my cat is such a pervert! I'm not touching him again
until he gets neutered.
Me: After we get our tax money back, we
need to take Max to the vet
Mikayla: Why?
Me. To get him fixed so he can't have
babies.
Mikayla: But he's a boy...
Me: Don't ask why, but boy cats are
able to get girl cats pregnant.
Mikayla: Why?
Me: Ummm....they just can.
I'm so not ready to have this
conversation so I distracted her little mind by telling her about how
there are too many stray cats in the world that don't have homes.
Then I started talking about all the cats living at the animal
shelter that are stuck in cages. Luckily the distraction worked well
because she feels bad for those cats and thinks we need to get
another.
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