Latest thoughts...

I know it's kind of late posting this, but I'm so glad that the holidays are over. At one of the many, many family get-togethers over the holidays, Dakota got yelled at. He was having fun, playing with his cousins – and one of them called somebody old. That person might not have been thrilled, but they laughed it off and went on their way. Well, Dakota thought that was hilarious. When the next adult came by, he called her “old lady”. He's always trying to make people laugh. You could tell that he thought everybody was going to think it was funny. Well, I was sitting close by and had a feeling that it wasn't going to go over well. I said his name and was getting ready to talk to him about it when this person blew a gasket and yelled at him. It wasn't a simple reminder to not call people old – it was kind of harsh. I've never seen this person so mad. I'm really surprised that Dakota didn't start crying – 1. Because he is sensitive, 2. Because he was yelled at in front of his peers, and 3. Because he hadn't had any of his anti-depressants for a few days (we ran out of his prescription). I'll be the first to admit that my kids aren't perfect. No kid is. You never know what is going to come out of a child's mouth – especially a child with Autism. No matter how many times you tell him a topic isn't appropriate – it doesn't make a difference. Trust me, every time we are on our way to certain people's houses, we say, “Ok, remember – no talking about poop or pee or farting or burgers or etc...” - because apparently these topics are just hilarious. It doesn't do much good, but we try. At some places, I just cringe when my children don't sit there like perfect robots with the utmost perfect manners. I have one child that blurts out the most random things under the sun, and I have one child who refuses to talk to anybody. I'm sure she seems rude to everybody else, and we probably seem like awful parents. But we can't make her talk. The truth is, I'm afraid she has social anxiety like me. I used to think she was just shy. I've explained to her that I get nervous when people talk to me too, but I answer back anyway. She just doesn't understand why I would talk to someone if I didn't want to. But anyway, when someone from a perfect household yells at my autistic son for acting like a kid, it makes me not want to go to certain get-togethers anymore. Dakota's intellectual age doesn't exactly match up to his actual age. There's nothing we can do about it. Get over it. Brush it off, keep walking, and be glad that your children are perfect. To me, my children are perfect just the way they are.

John and I are slightly regretting moving into these new apartments. Don't get me wrong, they are really nice and the kids really needed their own rooms. At the time we were desperate to make a change. They are just so strict here. If you are 6 days late on your rent, you get an eviction letter. Kids can't ride bikes. You're not allowed to store anything on your porch, you can only have patio furniture. And the “housekeeping checks” really piss me off. I get all sorts of anxiety when they do that, because I don't know if crumbs will get them all bent out of shape. When we signed the contracts, we were also told that they can do “surprise checks”, which just seems wrong to me. I just feel like I'm always on guard because you never know when they might show up. Also, we just had people move in above us a couple of weeks ago. When I saw that it looked like it was just a couple of Japanese guys, I thought that it wouldn't be so bad. I didn't figure they would make much noise. Well, we have hardwood floors (not real hardwood, but the fake kind). I think it was a mistake putting this type of flooring down in apartments. It sounds like these guys wear boots and purposely, stomp around. And it sounds like they keep rearranging their furniture or something. At our old apartment, which was carpeted, we really couldn't hear the person above us much at all. And speaking of the floor, it hurts my feet so much. Especially in the mornings. I get out of bed and can hardly walk because it hurts so bad. We're wanting to get a soft fluffy rug for the front room, but haven't had the money to yet. Oh, and a few days ago, I swear I heard the guy upstairs throwing up. I thought, “Well, that's gross”. Oddly enough, 5 minutes later, I started throwing up. So then I was all paranoid about the dude upstairs hearing me. Ugh... Oh, and I want my kids to be able to act like kids. I hate that we are constantly telling them to be quiet because the neighbors might hear.