Pets

Dakota has been determined to get a pet. He goes outside and looks for things all the time. One day, he found a worm and put it in a container with air holes. The next day it was dead. He was out back sitting in the grass bawling. So then, he found a “pet” box-elder bug. I think it was the next day that it ended up dying. He cried 2 or 3 times that day. He laid in his bed while he was crying and told me that his heart was broken into pieces. He gets so dramatic, but you can't help but feel sorry for him. So, the next day we went to the store and got each kid a beta fish and their own little tank. Both kids were really excited about that. I'm hoping I can keep these fish alive. If you know how well I keep plants alive, you might worry. I remember to feed my kids and cat because they won't leave me alone til I do, ha ha... I'm doing pretty well with the fish so far (though it's only been a week or so). I never realized how smart fish can be. I read up on beta fish and it said that they will come to recognize the faces of their owners. When I walk near the fish bowls, Mikayla's fish will swim really fast back and forth in front of the bowl closest to where I'm standing. She reminds me of an excited puppy waiting for food. Dakota's fish isn't quite as excitable. He's actually kind of a scaredy cat. The fish haven't cured Dakota's need to have a pet bug though. He has a pet june bug now that just died. Yesterday, he was upset because he wanted to take it into the school and I couldn't get him to get out of the car and leave it with me. His teacher came over and told Dakota that she had a surprise for him inside so he left his bug with me and went into the school. He came out of the school with a praying mantis cocoon, and told me that it will hatch 500 of them. There was no lid on the container so I was trying to get home before it hatched in the car. That would give me a heart attack for sure. I got him convinced to put the cocoon in the tree in the backyard. We found a good spot for it. He wanted to keep it inside or on the porch. Praying Mantis...doesn't that name just sound evil??? I'm torn between feeling really grossed out, or really touched that his teacher saw the cocoon and thought of Dakota and brought it to him.

**Update...I wrote the paragraph above this morning, then fell asleep. When I woke up, the tree that we had put Dakota's cocoon in had been CUT DOWN!!! They had chopped it in pieces and were loading it up in a big truck. Of all days!!! I hated breaking the news to Dakota after school. He was very upset. He laid on his bed and cried and was yelling that those people were murderers. That cocoon meant a lot to him. Oh, and his june bug ended up dying today too so it hasn't been a good day for him.

We've been having more trouble lately with getting Dakota to school. I don't think I blogged about it, but I know I mentioned one day on facebook about Dakota laying on the sidewalk in front of the school and refusing to go in. People from the school had to carry him in. Dakota's special ed teacher called me and said that she would make sure that someone would wait out front of the school every day and walk him in. It means so much to me that they do that. Today was another bad morning. I called the school to let them know we were running late. John ended up being late for work again – good thing his boss seems to be understanding. Mikayla was upset about being late for school, especially since it was beach day today. She was so excited about it. She was decked out in shorts, flip flops, sunglasses, sun hat... But anyway, right after we pulled in front of the school 3 people came out to help get Dakota in the school. That helps us out so much. He doesn't seem to fight against them as much as he does us. Here at home, John has to do most of the work. I help get Dakota dressed, but I can't help carry him to the car. He is so strong and heavy. I feel so helpless. I am so weak. I have been lifting little 3 pound weights to help build up my strength, and even then it sometimes hurts to lift my arms for days afterward. I can't imagine how I'm going to feel tomorrow after trying to help John lift Dakota. I don't know why I try, it doesn't do any good, and then I pay for it later. That's the thing with fibromyalgia – any time you do anything slightly strenuous, your muscles hurt more than usual and you ache for days afterward. But anyway, I'm just soooo glad that this is the last week of school. It's so frustrating and exhausting. I get so mad in the mornings when he fights against us, and then when we finally get him in the car he cries and says that he doesn't want to leave me and it breaks my heart.

Mikayla had her very first field trip last week. The Kindergarteners went to the zoo in Omaha and it was her first time riding on a bus. If you know me at all, then you will know that I had a ton of anxiety about this. I went through the exact same thing with Dakota's first field trip. I thought it would be easier with the second child but I was wrong. I'm not away from my kids very often – pretty much only when they are at school. So anyway, the day before the field trip, someone on facebook had posted this picture of a little angel girl with a poem on it titled “The Field Trip”. 

Needless to say, that did not help my anxiety any. The next day was long. They weren't supposed to get

back to town until 5:30. When I picked Dakota up from school, he wanted to know where Mikayla was. On the way home, he said that it was weird not having her with us. Then he said, “It's like she's dead or something”. I will not lie, I was checking the Omaha news website to make sure there weren't any bus wrecks. A while later, I got a call from the school saying that the buses were running ahead of schedule and that they should be back at 5:00 instead of 5:30. So, imagine my anxiety when we were sitting there at the school waiting and waiting and the buses didn't show up until about 5:30 anyway. Ugh...